2008, December 2nd, Tuesday
Ahh... the Monday is here again, but on Tuesday we see a victory.
Yes, the day that everybody hates, the Monday. Ivan has therapy today at Bukit Batok. We got up early and set off for the train station, as we dropped Immanuel off by the traffic light for him to cross over to granny's. Ivan continued annoying me even today.
As we had reached there just on time, we had to wait for the other student to leave the room. When the other boy came out, I prompted Ivan to say "good morning" to the boy. The therapist on the other hand prompted the boy to look at Ivan as he said this. It was very much as if they were in twilight zone. Ivan greeted without and eye contact made and the boy smiled without any eye contact made.
As we had reached there just on time, we had to wait for the other student to leave the room. When the other boy came out, I prompted Ivan to say "good morning" to the boy. The therapist on the other hand prompted the boy to look at Ivan as he said this. It was very much as if they were in twilight zone. Ivan greeted without and eye contact made and the boy smiled without any eye contact made.
The two adults tried to intervene to get a gaze across each other, but didn't achieve. Strangely, without a care about the greeting, the two boys seem very happy and contented with their method of communication. Their reaction was as if it was normal to greet each other without looking at the others face. Well, in their world, life is less complicated and easy, so why change that right.
I had to pre-warn the therapist that Ivan was on a rebellious streak lately. He kept picking on his elder brother at home, when ever he wasn't given a chance at the computer. Plus, he was screaming away at home until he got his ways.
I had to pre-warn the therapist that Ivan was on a rebellious streak lately. He kept picking on his elder brother at home, when ever he wasn't given a chance at the computer. Plus, he was screaming away at home until he got his ways.
Normally, during sessions, I sit outside the therapy room in the study, where I could listen in the lesson without interrupting them. Normally, I would be able to hear the areas where Ivan was stuck in, so more practice could be given to him at home. Guess, what I heard this time, almost nothing. I sat back relaxed and listened. That was it, I woke up ten minutes before therapy ended. I had been so tired and exhausted that I never stopped to let the body rest. So when there was silence and a comfy sofa, the body decided that it was not going to ask me, but just take over and sleep. It was kind of embarrassing, but if you live my life you will understand that sometimes, these are the only times when you really drop into deep sleep.
Getting, up it was time to hear the feedback that the therapist would share at the end of the lesson. She gave some positive pointers and some areas that we had to work on. The one delightful thing was that he had only accumulated two sad faces for today.
Ivan loved happy face icons. Its kind of like a reward star for him. So the therapist thought that the opposite would work as well. A couple of week ago, we implemented the sad face policy. Should he sing with distraction, or throw a tantrum during session, a sad face would be given. Upon accumulating ten sad faces, he would not be able to use the computer when he reached home. He did hit ten once, then it dropped to seven and five. And wonderfully to a two today.
As there was no school today, we didn't have to take a cab home. We took the bus to the train station. I then decided to allow Ivan to decide where and what lunch was going to be. He kept telling me that he was going to have pasta. So I asked him, "Would you rather, pasta, or burger, or brown noodles?" He said "Brown noodles." Then I asked him, "Would you rather brown noodles, pasta or burger?" (knowing that he has a tendency to choose the last answer mentioned.) This time his answer was "Brown noodles." So that was clear then, he had decided.
When we reached the food court at Sembawang, Ivan started to cry. Ever since, he had his earwax removed, he would never enter a food court or a coffee shop. I later found out that the vent made a sound that was displeasing to his ears. So I told him, calmly that we were packing the food to go and that we would have it at home. He was reluctant, but followed as I dragged him to the stall. As I placed my order, I said packet, and I repeated myself. I then repeated myself to him again saying, "Packet, so we could have it at home, okay."
After packing, we left and had lunch of brown noodles (wanton noodles) at home. I knew that he would not have the meat, so I cut them up with my kitchen scissors and told him, "Don't forget to eat your chicken, okay", the poor boy ate the pork thinking that it was chicken. Anyway we don't have any food restrictions, plus, I wanted him to try new variety of food. So sometimes just got to lie....
What surprised me the next day, was the questions that I had asked him just now, what he would rather have, stayed in his head. The next day, the dad had landed and was home. Later, the afternoon, we went to MacD's for ice-cream due to the heat. After finishing his ice cream, Ivan asked for water. (He doesn't like soft drinks). I told him that there wasn't water. Immanuel had coke and dad had ice milo. I then passed him the coke for a sip. He sipped and then said, "I would rather that." Pointing to the ice milo which dad had.
Wow... or wow. It was my crowning moment. I know that normally, it would not be a great deal at all. But coming from Ivan, it marked yet another victory for me. Its true what they say about sowing and reaping. Some times, you just got to sow even though it seems helpless. When its time to reap, it most likely will be there. Have faith and trust it will all work out well.
Getting, up it was time to hear the feedback that the therapist would share at the end of the lesson. She gave some positive pointers and some areas that we had to work on. The one delightful thing was that he had only accumulated two sad faces for today.
Ivan loved happy face icons. Its kind of like a reward star for him. So the therapist thought that the opposite would work as well. A couple of week ago, we implemented the sad face policy. Should he sing with distraction, or throw a tantrum during session, a sad face would be given. Upon accumulating ten sad faces, he would not be able to use the computer when he reached home. He did hit ten once, then it dropped to seven and five. And wonderfully to a two today.
As there was no school today, we didn't have to take a cab home. We took the bus to the train station. I then decided to allow Ivan to decide where and what lunch was going to be. He kept telling me that he was going to have pasta. So I asked him, "Would you rather, pasta, or burger, or brown noodles?" He said "Brown noodles." Then I asked him, "Would you rather brown noodles, pasta or burger?" (knowing that he has a tendency to choose the last answer mentioned.) This time his answer was "Brown noodles." So that was clear then, he had decided.
When we reached the food court at Sembawang, Ivan started to cry. Ever since, he had his earwax removed, he would never enter a food court or a coffee shop. I later found out that the vent made a sound that was displeasing to his ears. So I told him, calmly that we were packing the food to go and that we would have it at home. He was reluctant, but followed as I dragged him to the stall. As I placed my order, I said packet, and I repeated myself. I then repeated myself to him again saying, "Packet, so we could have it at home, okay."
After packing, we left and had lunch of brown noodles (wanton noodles) at home. I knew that he would not have the meat, so I cut them up with my kitchen scissors and told him, "Don't forget to eat your chicken, okay", the poor boy ate the pork thinking that it was chicken. Anyway we don't have any food restrictions, plus, I wanted him to try new variety of food. So sometimes just got to lie....
What surprised me the next day, was the questions that I had asked him just now, what he would rather have, stayed in his head. The next day, the dad had landed and was home. Later, the afternoon, we went to MacD's for ice-cream due to the heat. After finishing his ice cream, Ivan asked for water. (He doesn't like soft drinks). I told him that there wasn't water. Immanuel had coke and dad had ice milo. I then passed him the coke for a sip. He sipped and then said, "I would rather that." Pointing to the ice milo which dad had.
Wow... or wow. It was my crowning moment. I know that normally, it would not be a great deal at all. But coming from Ivan, it marked yet another victory for me. Its true what they say about sowing and reaping. Some times, you just got to sow even though it seems helpless. When its time to reap, it most likely will be there. Have faith and trust it will all work out well.
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