The peanut butter syndrome...

 2008, December 19, Friday

Today, I felt very encouraged by some comments that I received on my blog.
As for my day, I started off by refraining Ivan from having his "peanut butter and bread". I decided that there were a few factors to his misbehavior.

1. the peanut butter was making him hyperactive
2. the need to seek attention
3. that he was of his herbal medicine

So to test these out, I started by removing the peanut butter totally and started on the herbal medicine again. I know that there should only be one change while the others stayed constant. However, we had seen the effects of the herbal medicine before, actually.

The day started off with no peanut butter, it was replaced by slices of nutella bread. As for his rice intake, now I am taking the measurement of the Chinese rice bowl to ensure that they get the right amount of carbohydrates. Lately, he eats very little rice and then asks for something sweet after that like chocolate chip cookies or nutella bread.

So today, I served him his lunch on a separate plate from mine. His vegetables all cut up and mixed well with the rice. Served it with a plastic fork and spoon (bugs bunny merchandise). He started off eating well, until he spotted some cabbage. I then fed him occasionally allowing him to still feed himself. About one quarter more to go, he decided that he had his fill. So, I coaxed him with a reward of some ice cream after that. Fortunately, I had stacked up my freezer with a variety of ice cream flavours. He forced himself and finished his bowl of rice.

I allowed him to choose which flavour he wanted. It was Lava Brownie. I scooped using a teaspoon (instead of the ice cream scoop) to show him that there were many scoops. He was very happy with his reward. I was pleased with the outcome, but that was just the morning half of the day.

Later in the day, the dad had some errands to run at Sun Plaza, so we all went. Ahhh... another hassle. For the past month or so, each time we went there, Ivan had to buy his peanut butter waffle, from the cake shop there. It would be a noisy episode if we had refused. (trust me, been down that road a couple of times) Even yesterday, when we went down to to Sun Plaza to Coffee Bean he had to still have the peanut butter waffle. It was becoming a compulsion more than a snack.

So, while daddy ran his errands, I took the boys down to the basement level where the cake shops were. I told Ivan in a calm voice, "Which would you prefer, cheese or chocolate?" His answer was peanut butter waffle as he pointed to the shop at the end. I repeated myself again pointing at the small, round pancakes at the Mr. Bean stall in front of us. He looked at me for a second or two and answered, "Chocolate." I bought one each for the boys and they had it there while waiting for daddy.

Even though I kind of stuffed the pancake at his face, not giving him a chance at the waffle at all, Ivan didn't seem to have any problems with it. He actually seemed quite happy with his chocolate pancake. Success! No peanut butter today equals not hyper today. He was his normal active self today, without the continuous rebellion. Hmmm.... could the peanuts have anything to do with the rebellion, something for me to look into, The Peanut Butter Syndrome.

I managed to get my hands on a cookbook in the library for children with ASD and ADHD. It may have the answer that I am looking for. Personally, I would never place my child on any particular diet recommended for ASD kids. The reason being, some things can only be done for a while. Life throws alot of curves and crossroads, we have to be flexible. How would you possible go on a holiday or leave him with a babysitter if you have so many restrictions in his diet. Also, I would feel that its cruel if we ate foods that Ivan couldn't eat, it's just not right. So personally, I would take what I can use and modify it, to what best suits me.

At one point of time we tried the organic foods, it was great and all but very costly and Ivan didn't react very much to it either. (Not all children would react the same to the special diets, my didn't show any improvement)

My next move is to find out if he is doing all this just to gain attention. Until I experiment some more, I am signing off.

-bittersweetz-

Time for take off.....

 2008, December 18, Thursday

I have been having a rather messy routine lately, with my husband being home and all. Nevertheless, I still have the same chores that I have to complete each day. Along with nagging the children to complete their day to day expected chores.

Ivan has totally reached a stage where I find that everyday is a battle. Either it would be a new battle or part two of what happened yesterday. I try to look at it in with a positive note. That he is learning something, even when he is being difficult. He is learning to push boundaries and be manipulative. Skills that take alot of thinking and analysing for a boy with autism.

The boys hardly have their father's undivided attention and his time. Normally, they have school when the dad is home. This is the first time in years that the dad is home for the holidays. So it would be natural for boys to act out. As my hubby always quotes, "Boys will be boys." Honestly, it is driving me up the wall.

In the midst of Christmas preparation and the New Year To-do lists, I was surprised when I had a new challenge. This one wasn't from Ivan. It was from Immanuel, my 1o year old who will be turning 11 years in February soon. If you look at Immanuel, you will see a small build, timid boy, that overcomes anxiety by talking a lot. But what you cannot see is that he is becoming a teenager on the inside.

My hubby and I knew that one day Immanuel would become a teenager and bring along all the challenges with it. But neither of us thought that it would be so soon. As usual, the mummy intuition is faster that the daddy's. I sensed that my first born was growing up, breaking boundaries and tradition to find himself.

While we shopped for clothes, he was being unusually fussy. He would make comments that we had not heard from him before. Either the colour was not right, or the shade or the pockets. I remember reading somewhere that a one of the beginning signs of adolescences would be looking for an individual image by changing the hairstyle and dressing. The child would come out of his comfort zone, to find himself. There are many adults today that I know of still finding themselves. So when its time to grow up, lets not hinder the process or they may be wondering for 40 years.

Before the dad came home, he tried experimenting with a couple of new hairstyle. Styling it with gel daily. Trying new clothes styles, of mixing and matching. Then I guess that lost its appeal. Now he wants the very same hairstyle the dad has. He also wants to dress the same way. (the good thing is we know who his idol is) Many children idolise movie stars and singers to fill the void of a hero in their lives. I think its great that my son sees his father as his hero and wants to form his identity after him. The only down side to this is that my hubby has to watch his every move. He is being studied so closely that a wrong example could scar for life. As for me I realise that my first born is falling through my hands.

Realising that my choices were either upsetting him or embarrassing him. I decided to take a back step. I would leave the boys to shop with the dad, while I caught up with the "me" time, that I had given up for so many years. This way there are few misunderstandings and no one offends no one. Since, my son and I are very vocal, frank and expressive, we tend to end up stepping on each others toes sometimes. But daddy is there to smooth everything out, what he does best always. Its been a bumpy ride, unlike Ivan's journey, for this one I got to buckle up and its going to be a fast and reckless one and I would be just a passenger.

I see my boy growing up before my very eyes. I wish he would not be in such a rush to grow up, but its not for me to say. I always believed that we should give our children roots and then wings. But now I wonder are the roots are strong enough? When he spread his wings to fly, will it be alright? Its too late to turn back the clock? Have I missed out anything important? Will he choose the right path? Will he make the right friends? What does the future hold?

Its like standing in the viewing gallery at the airport as you watch the plane take flight. Parenting is like that, its time for departure. I have to let my boy take flight whether or not I think he is ready, it doesn't matter. Now all I can do is to wait. If he falls, and we all will, I will be there to nurse the wounds but I will no longer be able to protect him like a child. Parenting, ahhh the irony of life. We give birth to a baby only to watch him grow and fall so that he will be a better person. I pray that in all paths of his life, only the Lord shall have the final say. I turn my eyes to the Lord and rest my anxieties, as I know it would be an anxious and painful journey of being the parent of a teenager.

Take Off.......

Ice cream treat

 2008, December 17, Wednesday

Today, Ivan was such a wonderful boy. He did his studies well and listened to Mummy's rules, and didn't use the computer at all. Thus, it means that he should he rewarded. And that was just what he got. A stick of chocolate layered ice cream. He not only enjoyed his stick and also snatched daddy's ice cream and finished it off for him.
-bittersweetz-

yummy....

 2008, December 17, Wednesday

Yummy, now look at that plate of mama mee goreng.
There is good news and there is bad news. The good news is that now Ivan doesn't put up a fight when we go down to the coffee shop downstairs for our meals.

The bad news is that he has now found a new favourite, the ever famous mama mee goreng. As good as it is that he is trying new variety of food, the oil content is really huge and it causes his eyes to get all puffy afterwards. And now, each time we sit at the coffee shop the order for him is mee goreng. And when we go down to the food court at Sun Plaza its Char Kway Teow (he however says it in the most adorable mispronunciation, Cha Chu Chao). I pray that this is going to be a short phase, a very short phase.

-bittersweetz-

Breakfast anyone?

 2008, December 17, Wednesday

After a good walk, we decided that we would stop for breakfast at Coffee Bean.(one of my favourite breakfasts) Ivan is still in the streak of attacking his brother. I don't know if its attention seeking or if he is just bored or if he is just goofing around. 

Immanuel had been very patient with his brother, but I do foresee an outburst pretty soon. While daddy and I went to order breakfast, Ivan was busy attacking his brother, by pinching, pushing and punching.

With all the energy used up by attacking his brother, Ivan worked up an appetite. He actually ordered up another plate of the breakfast. We are still figuring out what is triggering his attacks.

-bittersweetz-

meeting with our cousins

2008, December 17, Wednesday

Its time to meet our cousins again. The boys were so excited to meet up with their cousins again. On the left is our newest addition, baby Rochelle. She is such an adorable little baby that keeps smiling at live no matter what. Its such a blessing just carrying her and enjoying her as she enjoys our body heat. 

 

On the right is Godfather and baby Rochelle. He can only carry her for awhile, until the twins attack for him to entertain them. The twins are very possessive of their Godfather, they will hardly let him out of their sight.

Here is adorable pictures of Immanuel (big brother), baby Rochelle and Rebecca and Roanna. Its such a heartwarming sight. The boys are going to be very sad when their cousins left for a long holiday to India. The always have so much fun screaming and having fun.

-bittersweetz-

deck the halls....

 2008, December 17, Monday

deck the halls....

We had bought some more Christmas tree decorations from Causeway Point. The boys had picked up a few pieces that they wanted to add on to the tree. 

Here is one that Ivan had chosen, that he likes. 

The big blue ball is yet another beautiful piece that he had chosen.

 

 

Immanuel had taken two very beautiful peacocks to add on to our Christmas tree. They took awhile to decided where they wanted to place the decorations. They tried left, right, up and down.

-bittersweetz-